Computer Virus

My computer is totally shut down right now! I'll be back! UGH!

Super Skinny vs Super Size

My latest obsession is watching Superskinny vs Supersize on youtube. It's a show in the UK. Check it out and tell me what you think!

Boxing!

I'm always on the lookout for physical activity that I don't have to force myself to do. I really hate the traditional workout. If I hate something I can make myself do it only so much. This is the problem with my workout "routine" which for several weeks has been non-existant. Until now!
I went out of town to visit my best friend for the weekend. This friend is a boxing champion and gave me a quick (2 hours!) boxing workout.
I was sweating and my muscles were fatigued, but I wanted to keep going because it was FUN! Today my arms hurt so bad I can barely use them. My abs hurt from keeping them tight while I threw punches and protected myself, and my calves hurt from being on my toes for so long. I love it!
I wish we lived closer so that my friend could train me all the time! I'm looking into joining a boxing club, or maybe even taking boxing as a college class.

Update without a scale...

OK so I SUCK at doing the 2-4-6-8 thing. I can fast completely and I can eat a moderate/large amount of calories (800-1500) but I can't eat a very small amount of calories. I don't know why. It's like once I start eating, I just eat. If' I'm fasting, I just fast. So now that I've tried and tried and failed and failed at the ABC and 2-4-6-8 diets, I'm going to admit defeat and move on.

Moving on....

I've done a really great job at keeping myself from buying a scale. I really think I had a problem with the OCD weighing, and I like testing myself in different ways to see if I can cope without my various crutches. This is one of those self-tests. I know I've had some bad days and some really GOOD days with trying to be a skinny pear, I just don't know how it will all play out on the scale yet.

For this week I plan on fasting every other day and eating only lean protein, veggies, and whatever else I'm forced to cram down my throat because of social/family pressure. I don't have a specific calorie count in mind for non-fasting days because I really can't be bothered. I know if I eat things that are approved and fast the next day, a couple hundred calories here and there aren't going to be THAT huge of a deal.

So... a status update without knowing how much I weigh: last weekend I wore my old jeans from 2000/2001! Yay!

My meals for the day

I didn't eat yesterday and only drank green tea and water. I felt like a million bucks all day. It's amazing how good I feel when I don't eat!
Today is an eating day. Not an overeating day.

Meals:
Breakfast: Water

Lunch: my version of a hamburger which is 1/4c. browned ground beef, 3 mini pickles, and 1 low carb cracker.

Dinner: raw carrots, broccoli, tomatoes, peppers, and sugar snap peas with 1 tblsp ranch dressing.

Grossness and Tips

So after my fever I, of course, got a fever blister (cold sore). It's super gross and hurts and makes me look awful.... but it also makes it harder to eat, so bonus. I would not reccomend getting a cold sore for weight loss purposes, but if you've already got one you might as well use it to your advantage. "Oh I can't eat that, my mouth hurts too bad."

Does anyone else purposely make themselves feel sick to avoid eating? I know that every time I take my One-A-Day Weight Smart vitamin I'm nauseous for hours. I don't get a lot done, but I also don't feel like eating so I do it.

I'm using Crest White Strips on my fast days to discourage me from eating. If I feel hungry and start thinking about eating, I put on the strips. You have to leave them on for 30 minutes, and by the time I take them off, I'm over wanting to eat. They're pretty expensive so I don't waste them. It works like a charm plus, I get super-white teeth!

Scale Withdrawal

As you know, I threw my scale away after last week's eye-opening WW meeting. I got super sick over the weekend so I missed this week's meeting, and because the coming Monday is a holiday I won't get weighed then either! I CAN'T stand it!
This is by far the longest I've ever gone without weighing myself. I didn't realize how often I did it until I couldn't. I'd get bored -- I'd weigh myself. I'd eat -- I'd weigh myself. I'd fast -- I'd weigh myself. It was the first thing I did in the morning and the last thing I did every night before bed. I'm really surprised at what a close relationship I had with my scale!

Enough about my sordid love affair with my scale...

I've been doing pretty well lately. I fasted for a day and half after I binged for a couple days because of the upsetting WW meeting. A quick fast usually helps me get back on track. Looking at Ana blogs always helps too. I bought one of those enormous party trays of veggies at Costco this weekend and that's all I've been eating the last couple days (besides this HUGE lunch I was basically coerced into eating yesterday).
I'm not sure if I should run out and buy a new scale or just wait patiently to be weighed at the next meeting. Thoughts?

The New (OMG my REAL weight) Plan

So I'm pretty much in shock/freak out mode right now, which is not a healthy place for me to be. Not that anything having to do with food/weight/body is very healthy with me. This is worse than usual though.
I'm starting an herbal "cleanse" tonight that should help get rid of some of the weight inside me.
I think I'll do a healing water fast tomorrow to go along with my cleanse. If I eat when I feel like this I binge, and if I binge while I feel like this I purge. So really the healthiest thing I can do is abstain from food until I get past the "scale shock" of tonight.
I'm just going to browse other blogs and try to regain some control.

Kill Me

I decided to join Weight Watchers so that I could have even more accountability and a weekly weigh-in.
When I went to my meeting and weighed in, their scale said 165.8!!!! So basically I want to cry/die.

I came home and threw my piece of shiz scale away. Until further notice, I'll be posting my weight on Monday nights after my "official" weigh-in.

I can't effing believe I've been laboring under the delusion that I'm 6 pounds lighter than I actually am!
Has this ever happened to anyone else? I can't decide whether to binge or puke right now out of disgust for myself.

Subjected to the Scale 161

I gained.

I went out for my friends birthday party at the bar, and I think the combination of "birthday shots" and not eating much lately got me super wasted (which I HATE) and once my inhibitions go... I eat. Drunk munchies are not calorie free, that's for damn sure. I have to be honest and tell you that I almost didn't post my weight because I had gained. But I know I need to post even the bad days for this blog to be legit.
Ugh.

I'm so glad that college starts this week and the discipline and dedication that I put into my classes always transfers over to my diet/exercise plan. Plus I get a free gym membership!