The saddle bags on my upper outside thigh, if measured around, are bigger than my shoulders if measured around. This is, by several inches, the widest point of my body. I hate it.
When I start to lose weight my ribs will stick out immediately, my collar bones will look sunken and wonderful, my waist will be small, my stomach flat, but I'll STILL have a huge fatass and saddlebags packed for weeks. People will comment that I'm getting too thin based on the fact that my face looks too thin, my cheekbones too prominent. What these people will fail to recognize is that I *literally* have cellulite to my ankles. In 15 pounds I'll have the ribs of Nicole Richie and the ass of Anna Nicole Smith (pre TrimSpa of course).
Showing posts with label particularly pear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label particularly pear. Show all posts
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
What Not to Wear if You're a Pear
Hippy women, need to avoid (like the plague) the following items of clothes. If you have any of these items in your wardrobe, donate them to charity. They’ll look better on anyone else.
Bulky fabrics adorned with bows or large frills on your lower-half simply add more girth where you want it least. This is not a technique to hide your flaws.
Bias-cut clingy fabric that falls across the hips or thighs will always go out at the hips, out at the thighs and then in at the knees, making you look like a lightbulb
Any light satin that is designed to “drape” across the hips will make your hips and thighs seem strangely huge
Pants that are shaped in at the calf accentuate the size of your thighs and hips and should be avoided at all costs. No skinny jeans for pear-shaped women.
Bright colours, geometric shapes, horizontal lines, eye-catching patterns on any skirts or trousers draw too much attention to your curves
Shorts other than for sports or exercise. Shorts are all about the thighs and can never be flattering on a woman with broad-thighs (or a man for that matter).
Oh ok, you can wear short-shorts if you are one of those rare skinny pear-shaped women, like Kristen Davis.
Bulky fabrics adorned with bows or large frills on your lower-half simply add more girth where you want it least. This is not a technique to hide your flaws.
Bias-cut clingy fabric that falls across the hips or thighs will always go out at the hips, out at the thighs and then in at the knees, making you look like a lightbulb
Any light satin that is designed to “drape” across the hips will make your hips and thighs seem strangely huge
Pants that are shaped in at the calf accentuate the size of your thighs and hips and should be avoided at all costs. No skinny jeans for pear-shaped women.
Bright colours, geometric shapes, horizontal lines, eye-catching patterns on any skirts or trousers draw too much attention to your curves
Shorts other than for sports or exercise. Shorts are all about the thighs and can never be flattering on a woman with broad-thighs (or a man for that matter).
Oh ok, you can wear short-shorts if you are one of those rare skinny pear-shaped women, like Kristen Davis.
You Can't Change Your Shape
...but you can change the shape your fat ass is in.
I'm a pear. I've always been, I'll always be. I've learned to embrace my shape because there is nothing I can do about it (besides getting lipo which isn't happening). What I refuse to embrace is the fat that is hanging on my shape. Just because I'm a pear doesn't mean I have to be a fat pear. I CAN be a skinny pear, I just have to lose a bunch of weight and then keep it off. That should be suuuuuper easy. Right.
I want to be a skinny, in-shape, beautiful pear.
Who's with me?
I'm a pear. I've always been, I'll always be. I've learned to embrace my shape because there is nothing I can do about it (besides getting lipo which isn't happening). What I refuse to embrace is the fat that is hanging on my shape. Just because I'm a pear doesn't mean I have to be a fat pear. I CAN be a skinny pear, I just have to lose a bunch of weight and then keep it off. That should be suuuuuper easy. Right.
I want to be a skinny, in-shape, beautiful pear.
Who's with me?
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