Bingie Bingerson the Bingiest Girl in Bingetown

Two days. Two whole days.
Two days of doing nothing but eat. Opening the fridge, searching the cupboards, making weird combinations of foods just so that I could eat SOMETHING, ANYTHING, EVERYTHING.
Cheeze-Its and Ceasar dressing? Yes.
Heart-Shaped Box of Chocolates? Don't mind if I do.
Two entire pizzas? A snack.
A tin of caramel popcorn leftover from Christmas? My God.
And so on and so forth....
I'm still not done. Even though I've come to place where I can say, "you're binging you've had enough, you can stop now." I know I won't. I always know when a binge is over, and this isn't it. No amount of reading, writing, thinspo, etc can get me off a binge once one is in full-swing. It has to run it's course. I haven't even been purging as much I should be. The binges are so frequent and steady that I'd be puking all day and my throat is already sore and my eyes are already bloodshot. I know today isn't the last day, I can't speak for tomorrow.

A Hot Cake, A Hot Flash, A Hot Mess

This morning I made whole wheat honey pancakes for breakfast with raspberries and cool whip for the little. I decided I'd eat one too, and when I did I got really REALLY hot all of a sudden. I felt dizzy and nauseated and I started sweating. What the heck? Has anyone had this happen? What could be the cause? I'm thinking it's the sugar?! I haven't been eating much sugar/carbs so maybe it was a reaction? I feel better now, but blech! I won't be doing that again any time soon!

I've been doing GREAT on my eating! I've eaten less than 500 calories for 4 days now and two of those days were below 300! I haven't purged for a few days because my food intake has been so small so my throat is feeling much better.

I'm really excited! My friend gave me two of her phentermine pills yesterday. I think I'll take one Tuesday and one Thursday and see if they help me fast Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday this week!

Back and Bettah Than Evah!

A quick update on how my days are going-- I'm not entirely proud of my status report, but it is what it is.
I start everyday with a lovely breakfast of: my multi-vitamin (one-a-day weight smart), my hoodia diet pills, and smoking a ciggy. Blech.
I've been purging at least once a day again, which is not great. I hate it. I haven't been "binging" really. It's not like I'm eating thousands of calories in a sitting, I've been purging "normal" meals. I only purge my lunch because I don't eat breakfast and after I purge I don't feel like eating for a long time so I only eat a little at dinner anyway (which is the hardest meal for me to hide the purging). For example:
Yesterday I had my normal "breakfast" then I had a Pepsi (full calorie), two handfuls of cheese crackers, and 1 cup of beef stew. I purged it almost immediately. Of course I wasn't hungry at dinner time, so I spent a lot of time chopping veggies, and picking and nibbling on things so it seemed like I was eating the whole time. By the time it was ready to eat, I claimed I was too full. When in reality I'd only eaten half a carrot and some cucumber.
So that's the update. I really want to quit smoking! I also want to quit purging, but I don't think any New Years Resolution is gonna help much with that... I'm not getting down on myself about it tho. I actually feel really happy and motivated and good about myself. Nobody is perfect and everybody has their vices, so I'm not gonna beat myself up too bad. How are you doing?!